Brown Bear on a field

The definitive guide to your online dating profile

Hello, is it me you’re looking for?

Good old Lionel. 7 words and he’s laid his dating offer out on the proverbial table. 

Just like that.

If only it was still so simple. Granted, things have come a long way since the lonely hearts (a.k.a day 1 dating profiles) section first went to print. We have more tech at our fingertips to make us look great, but we’re still tasked with coercing our livelihood and personalities into tiny bios and images. 

Of course not group images because that’s just asking for trouble. 

Who is who?

Here are some tips for creating the ultimate dating bio that no one can resist. 

Most swipers are still resisting me, but whatever.

Want to hear some of my dating stories? Click here for laughs, awkward encounters and generally terrible dates. Go on, you know you want to. 


Love thy Bio 

This small piece of copy has the power to make or break future relations, treat it like your dating CV. Write it so it reflects your real personality – if you’re ‘King of the Bants’ then slide in a joke. If not, that’s cool too, just write about something you care about. 

And for the love of god don’t lie, over-embellish, or make up random shit to make you sound superhuman. This isn’t your actual CV after-all. 


Opt for ‘ice-breaking’ pictures 

It’s a good way to showcase some of your interests without wasting precious bio space – or sounding like a dick. Pictures speak a thousand words so let yours do the talkin’ and open up some conversations. An image with a dog will open more doors than writing ‘I love dogs’ in your bio. Go for action shots and don a cheesy grin. 

Strictly no smouldering, no pouting and no sedate tigers.


Get specific 

The detail is where it counts. It’s easy to fall into the cliché trap of ‘I love to travel’, but that’s boring, NEXT. 

Specify where you went, why you loved it and where you want to go next. This can always be applied to many hobbies/interests and will no doubt start a conversation with a like-minded person. 

Remember there’s a whole world of bios out there, all vying for attention and you need to stand out from the crowd. 

Seriously, it’s a minefield. 

Hear my stories of muddling my way through the world of dating. Listen, read or watch. Enjoy, cringe or recoil.